Every cloud has a silver lining

If you listen to TV news, you know about people losing jobs. Politicians place creation of jobs as among their most frequent promises in stump speeches.  But all that glitters with regard to jobs is not gold.

When I grew up, a job meant cradle-to-grave security. But with outsourcing of jobs overseas, American workers discovered that no longer applies.  Reliable biweekly paychecks with health insurance coverage is what most U.S. families desire, despite the fact that more than two million jobs were lost in the economy in 2008.

A dark cloud hangs over every home where someone has lost a job, but there’s also a silver lining that’s rarely discussed.  That’s because being an employee seems to be as American as apple pie, even though many people swear off the sugar in such pie.  What’s more, many apple pies were baked by self-employed entrepreneurs.

Ironically a majority of Americans don’t like what they do for a living.  A 2005 Conference Board study found that only 14 percent are “very satisfied” with what they do for pay.  If people liked their work, there wouldn’t be a TGI Friday’s which, as of November 2007, boasted more than 600 U.S. units, and another 303 in 57 other countries, while ringing up sales in excess of $2.1 billion.  That’s a lot of people who can’t wait until Friday.

People don’t like what they do for money because they’re trying to force their round pegs into the square holes of a pre-existing job.  What might happen, on the other hand, if they looked to create income not from the outside (like a job created by some entity outside themselves), but from the inside (from within their own Being)?  In my “Spirit & Money: Prospering by doing what you Love” workshop, mini-book, and CD, I say that the former creates a livelihood; the latter, a lovelihood.

Your parents taught you to have something to fall back on.   Imagine if you were told that you could use your God-given talents as your ticket through life.  Imagine if you took the gifts that are second nature to you and used them to share with the world.  When you bring your gifts into the world, you enrich the world, enrich yourself from within, and enrich your pocketbook, as well.  This is the opportunity that millions of newly-unemployed Americans have been given by the Universe if they could just see it, and have the courage to act upon. And with unemployment insurance stretching to about a year and a half, they could be partially subsidized by the government while they turn inward and craft their talents into goods and services that enrich society while simultaneously giving them the chance to develop that lovelihood.  When they do just that and the weekend ends, they can look in the mirror in the morning and say to themselves, “Thank God, it’s Monday.”

If you grew up in a dysfunctional home where a parent drank or raged, chances are you thought it was your job to become a peacemaker to make others feel good.  (It wasn’t.)  This behavior calmed the battle around you for a while, but it robbed you of your integrity.  It also attracted angry people to heal this pattern.  If this is your pattern, you’ve lacked the knowledge that it’s not your responsibility to make everyone happy.  Especially since it comes at the high price of your own peace and happiness.

Adding a vitamin to your diet makes up for a nutritional deficiency; adding an affirmation to your mental diet overcomes errors in thinking.  Here are three for boundary deficiency:

I am responsible for my feelings and emotions and everyone else is responsible for his.

I create the pleasure and pain in my life and others do the same in theirs.

I can support others without taking on their problems.

The overwhelming majority of LMTs I’ve encountered—now in the  thousands—do not think successfully. A business coach for massage therapists, I tell clients that a slowed down economy is not a problem for  massage therapists. The problem is how a massage therapist thinks, speaks, and acts about it.

During the Great Depression, the movie business thrived because Hollywood offered relief from daily worries.  If massage therapy doesn’t offer that—plus pain removal—then I’ll eat my hat—and I’m not a “hatatarian.”

The massage therapist who understands when her client says he needs to cut down or cut out massage, is an LMT who might soon need a job.   The massage therapist who makes her client understand that, in a recession, where stress and fear are rampant, one must spend money on staying empowered and motivated—or else fears will pull one into a deeper spiral.  The LMT in this economy must be a bodyworker and a lighthouse illuminating the way for those in darkness around her.

The Chinese ideogram for disaster is the same as the one for opportunity. If an LMT sees this economy as a disaster, she’ll likely find her business  dropping. The one who sees it as an opportunity will likely succeed.  Thank goodness we have the choice to choose.

The money follows

Last year, a friend, fed up with her job, had read Marsha Sinetar’s Do What You Love, the Money will Follow, http://www.marshasinetar.com/ and saw it as a sign to quit and pursue her bliss–painting.  After nine months, however, the money didn’t follow.  She’s been living off eroding savings.  She asked what to do.

I said if you do what you love the money will follow, but–the time it takes for each person’s money to follow differs.

Christ said if we had faith and asked the mountain to move, it would. Few have such faith; fewer still such bulldozing skills. So, if you do what you love so money will follow, take care of three things first.

1. Save at least six months of living expenses.

This provides a cushion if the money follows slowly.

2. Keep your heart pure.

Money miracles happen to pure hearts.  If you’re angry with others, forgive them.  Open room for unexpected income to flow.

3. Overhaul your mind.

Your consciousness must be prepared to receive the money that follows.  It’s one thing to consciously believe if you do what you love the money will follow; quite another if you believe when you do what you love, the bankruptcy will follow.  A study done among Canadian lottery winners  found that, within five years, the vast majority went broke. Governments dumped fortunes into their laps, but didn’t show them how to handle them.

Affirmations prepare consciousness so money can follow. Here’s one I recommend: “When I do the work I love, the world is enriched and so am I, as money flows to me quickly and easily.” At the left of the page, write the affirmation as 1A.  Below, write, as 1B, the response that arises that disagrees with it. Suppose it’s “If I do what I love nobody will care.”   Below, as 1C, create a new affirmation to treat that response.  A good one for the resistance above is “Spirit supports me when I do the work I love.”

This process releases your unconscious resistance. Write this affirmation 10 minutes a day until its truth manifests in your life.

“He who has no undue fondness towards anything, who neither exults nor recoils on gaining what is good or bad, his intellect is established.”

—Krishna, The Bhagavad-Gita

I’ve taught hundreds of people how to meditate as Krishna taught in The Bhagavad-Gita.  I’ve even taught others how to teach meditation and lose their worldly attachments.  So I must confess, as game 7 of the NBA Finals between the Los Angeles Lakers and Boston Celtics is just hours away, that I sometimes wrestle with one major lifetime attachment: I’ve loved the

The blogger, in Laker gear, about to block a shot by Shaquille O’Neal

Lakers since I was eight, and recoil when they lose a playoff game.  http://lakersblog.latimes.com/lakersblog/2010/06/caught-in-the-web-reactions-to-lakers-8967-game-6-victory-over-boston-celtics.html

Confession #2: In game 5 of a Western Conference semi-finals playoff game some years back Tim Duncan made a nearly-impossible shot with less than a second left.  When it seemed he stole a victory, knocking the air out of the Lakers, I screamed in anger.  Screamed! I can hear yogis turning over in their caves.

Confession #3: When Lakers guard Derek Fisher followed with a prayer of a jumper shot with four tenths of a second left that won the game, I jumped off my couch absolutely delirious with joy.  This is what Krishna called undue fondness and exulting.

Good News #1: Several years ago, I gave up my equally-long New York Mets attachment.  Occasionally, I’ll watch them with interest, but with no attachment.

Good News #2: When I watch the Lakers while I’m awake in my higher Self—that silence in me that witnesses life’s play of ups and downs– I enjoy the games much more.  The reason?  There’s no attachment to the outcome.  I become a fan in the zone.

Speaking of fans (as in fanatics), I’ve seen many give away their power, marriages and lives to their teams.  Fortunately, I have family, friends, and a life, so it’s clear the Lakers are the next attachment to go.  A wise yogi once said, “Love without attachment is light.”  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

What’s the one attachment you’d like to let go of in your life?   Let it go—and you’ll be free to enjoy it with even more pleasure and peace.

Restaurants, shoe stores, bookstores…these days it’s hard not to find an ad for a “Buy one, get one free” offer.   Oh, sure, you don’t see such ads for medical practices, auto dealers, and massage therapists. It’s understandable why MDs, uncomfortable about advertising, aren’t running such specials.  But massage therapists?  There’s no really good reason why they’re not doing it.

For a few hundred dollars worth of advertising, a number of LMTs employing this strategy received ongoing clients—some of whom might be worth many thousands of dollars during the course of their relationships with these therapists.  To make this promotion successful require the new client to receive that free session within a week of the first.

Consider the advantages of the offer:

1. New people experience your work for half the price they normally would, particularly appealing during a recession.

2. New clients pay full price for their first massage from you, which psychologically important for you.

3. New clients get two massages from you and in two weeks.

4. The second massage is free.  Human nature being what it is, the tendency to feel obligated to the therapist is very real, perhaps inspiring the client to book a third massage.

Cary Bayer, the Business Coach for Massage Therapists

The peaceful state that accompanies a massage is far more subtle than a sloppy Big Mac or an eventual sweaty pair of Nikes, each of which can also be purchased on a buy-one-get-one-free basis, so some LMTs might feel odd compared to such multinational giants.  But for a massage therapist to be associated with companies, with the two most prominent logos in marketing history can only be a good thing.

     Relaxation from things like meditation, naps, and massage enhances creativity.  There are no ifs, and, or buts about it.  Why should there be when even your butt itself gets massaged? And relaxation stimulates inspiration: a relaxed mind in a rested body is more receptive to the creative impulses than a worried mind in a tense body.

Many of the world’s great scientific insights and artistic conceptions occured in a restful state rather than a restless one?  The famed “a ha” experience of eureka that can make you laugh in a delightful “ha-ha,” happens when you’re most relaxed, not when you’re most worried.

  German chemist Friedrich Kekule discovered the benzene ring in a “waking dream” while riding in a London bus. Isaac Newton’s discovery of the Law of Gravitation came while relaxing under a tree and observing an apple falling to the ground. Albert Einstein intuited vital parts of his Relativity Theory while sitting patiently on a non-moving train as a nearby train left the station.

  For Romantic poet William Wordsworth calmness was the means. The former Poet Laureate of England wrote that, “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility.” Calmness, tranquility, relaxation are keys to enhancing your creative output.

     While receiving an Indonesian massage on a luxury yacht off the coast of Thailand, this non-scientist gained inspiration for this column.  During other massages and meditation sessions, I’ve received ideas for other columns, for new workshops, and for new books that I would write.

Bob Hope, one of the greatest comedians ever, used to get a massage every single day.  No doubt, it kept his body rested and his comic mind sharp and able to ad-lib in his inimitable way.

The next time you get creatively stuck, try lathering up your face or legs with shaving cream, as Einstein did.  A nick in your skin may be a small price to pay if it comes in the nick of time to stimulate your creative juices.  Or better yet, call a massage therapist and have her lather you up with oil.  Creative inspiration may be just a phone call away.

Your clients are the unheralded resource of your sales team.  A study of referral programs that I conducted among some 200 massage therapists reveals that the average therapist sends a thank-you note to the person doing the referring and a discount of about $7 off that person’s next session. Analysis reveals that the average client comes about once a month and remains a client for about three years.  At $60 per massage, that’s $720 per year or $2160 over three years (not counting the additional referrals that new client can bring).

A referral, therefore, brings $2160 in new business and the therapist sends a thank-you card and $7 coupon.  Is this any way to run a business? Here’s a win/win/win appropriate way to conduct a client referral program.  Continue the use of the $7-off the next treatment and thank-you card, but in the card, indicate that, in 6 months, another thank you will come.

Half a year later, after analyzing the revenue the new client has added to your business, send a check for 10 percent of that total to the client who referred.  Accompany the check with a second thank-you note, and in it indicate that you strongly believe in win/win/win scenarios.  Explain that the new client wins because he gets regular massage; you win because you’ve received added revenues; and the person to whom you’re sending this thank-you note wins with this check. Tell her to use the money any way she wants: for a facial, a gift for a loved one, or a donation to her favorite charity.  The choice, of course, is hers; it’s her money.

If you grew up in a dysfunctional home where a parent drank or raged, chances are you thought it was your job to become a peacemaker to make others feel good.  (It wasn’t.)  This behavior calmed the battle around you for a while, but it robbed you of your integrity.  It also attracted angry people to heal this pattern.  If this is your pattern, you’ve lacked the knowledge that it’s not your responsibility to make everyone happy.  Especially since it comes at the high price of your own peace and happiness.

Adding a vitamin to your diet makes up for a nutritional deficiency; adding an affirmation to your mental diet overcomes errors in thinking.  Here are three for boundary deficiency:
I am responsible for my feelings and emotions and everyone else is responsible for his.   
I create the pleasure and pain in my life and others do the same in theirs.
I can support others without taking on their problems.

“You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-between.”—Johnny Mercer

What was true in the hey-day of Broadway’s Tin Pan Alley is as true today in the new millennium.  If you want a transformation in, say, your finances, remove the resistance to prosperity that festers in your Unconscious from 20,000 meals you ate growing up at home.  A powerful way to transform your mind is by accentuating the positive, as the songwriter wrote, and latching on to the affirmative.
Here’s an extremely good one to latch onto: “My mind is a money magnet.”  Write the affirmation, then the resistance that comes up from your subconscious mind; suppose it’s: “My mind is lazy and uncreative.”  Writing the response releases it from your being.  Next step: create a new affirmation to treat this resistance; a good one is: “My connection to the Higher Power of the Universe energizes my mind with creative ideas and attracts opportunities to me.”   What’s powerful about this technique is that you’re releasing everything that stands in the way of the affirmation manifesting. Do this affirmation process daily for at least 10 minutes a day until it becomes your reality.